The 365 · Sunnah · Day 29 · Morning
The Sunnah of Affection: Kissing Family Members
The hadith
قَبَّلَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم الْحَسَنَ بْنَ عَلِيٍ، وَعِنْدَهُ الْأَقْرَعُ بْنُ حَابِسٍ التَّمِيمِيُّ، فَقَالَ الأَقْرَعُ: إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ مِنْهُمْ أَحَدًا، فَنَظَرَ إِلَيْهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ: مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ لَا يُرْحَمُ
Abu Hurayrah narrated: 'The Prophet ﷺ kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali while al-Aqra' ibn Hābis at-Tamīmī was sitting nearby. Al-Aqra' said: I have ten children, and I have not kissed any of them. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ looked at him and said: Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.' (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997, Sahih Muslim 2318.)
Svenska: Profeten ﷺ kysste sin sondotter al-Hasan ibn 'Ali. En man i sällskapet sade att han hade tio barn och aldrig kysst någon av dem. Profeten ﷺ sade: 'Den som inte visar barmhärtighet kommer inte att visas barmhärtighet.'
Sahih al-Bukhari 5997, Sahih Muslim 2318 (Abu Hurayrah, the al-Hasan kiss); Sahih Muslim 1106, Nasa'i 1141, Abu Dawud 2578 (other affection sunan)
The story
Multiple narrations describe the Prophet's ﷺ daily affection with children. He would prostrate longer in prayer when his grandson al-Hasan or al-Husayn climbed on his back (Sunan an-Nasa'i 1141). He would race 'A'ishah ra. as a young wife (Sunan Abi Dawud 2578). He would kiss his wives before going to fast (Sahih Muslim 1106). The Sunnah of physical affection within legitimate family bonds is unambiguous.
Why it's here
The Prophet's ﷺ standard of family affection was unusually high for his cultural context. He kissed children, embraced his daughter Fatimah ra. when she entered, and was openly tender with his grandchildren. The hadith above names the cost of withholding affection: the Prophet ﷺ called it a deficiency of mercy that risks Allah's mercy in return.
Try it today
1. Kiss your children on the head or cheek daily. Morning is a natural time.
2. Embrace your spouse on departure and return.
3. Kiss the hands of your parents (a sunnah of barr al-wālidayn, filial piety).
4. Use words of affection out loud. The body and the tongue both express it.
In your day
Modern men in many cultures struggle with physical affection toward children, particularly older ones. The Sunnah is the cure: kiss the head, embrace at departure, hold the hand. The discipline is the Prophetic standard. The next generation absorbs the practice and passes it on.
A reflection to carry
The morning kiss: affection in the family. The Prophet ﷺ would kiss his daughter Fāṭimah ra. on the forehead when she came to him. The Aqraʿ ibn Ḥābis hadith (Bukhārī 5997): when Aqraʿ saw the Prophet ﷺ kissing his grandsons and said 'I have ten children and I have not kissed any of them,' the Prophet ﷺ: 'Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'
Read the longer reflection
The Prophetic affection-discipline counters the structural emotional-distance often present in pre-modern (and some modern) Muslim families. The Prophet ﷺ modeled visible affection: kissing children, lifting them, joking with them, listening to them. Cure: visible morning and bedtime affection-rituals (kiss on forehead, hug, words of love); name each child specifically and tell them you love them; the structural emotional foundation built across years is severe. The Aqraʿ hadith is structurally diagnostic: the parent who does not show physical affection is identified by the Prophet ﷺ as one who 'does not show mercy.'
Sources: Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Abu Dawud, Nasai. The Qur'an and its translation are verified; the scholarship is retold faithfully in our own words and credited to its sources, never reproduced verbatim.
A verse, a healing, and a Sunnah, every morning.
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