The 365 · Sunnah · Day 28 · Morning
Giving Children a Kunya (a Tender Nickname)
The hadith
يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ، مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ؟
Anas ibn Malik narrated about his young brother: 'The Prophet ﷺ would visit us. I had a younger brother who was called Abu 'Umayr. He had a small bird (a nughayr, possibly a sparrow) that he used to play with, and it died. The Prophet ﷺ entered upon him one day and saw he was sad, and said: Yā Abā 'Umayr, mā fa'ala an-nughayr? (O Abu 'Umayr, what did the little bird do?)' (Sahih al-Bukhari 6129, Sahih Muslim 2150.)
Svenska: Anas ibn Malik berättade att Profeten ﷺ skulle hälsa på en liten pojke som hade förlorat sin fågel och säga till honom med hans kunya: 'Yā Abā 'Umayr, vad hände med den lilla fågeln?'
Sahih al-Bukhari 6129, Sahih Muslim 2150 (the Abu 'Umayr hadith)
The story
The Prophet ﷺ regularly gave kunyas to those who did not yet have them naturally. Children, unmarried adults, even people known for a particular quality. The kunya was a Sunnah of rapport-building. The classical scholars built whole works on the kunyas of the Companions and their children, preserving the Prophetic example.
Why it's here
The Prophet's ﷺ address of a young child by his kunya (Abu 'Umayr, 'father of 'Umayr') models the Sunnah of dignity: even the smallest member of the community is addressed with respect. The kunya elevates the child, signals adult-style care, and creates a tender bond. The hadith of Abu 'Umayr is one of the most beloved in the Sīrah for showing the Prophet's ﷺ tenderness with children.
Try it today
1. Give each child a kunya. Use it occasionally to elevate them.
2. Ask the child what kunya they would like; involve them in the choice.
3. Use the kunya in moments of tenderness, especially when the child is sad (the Abu 'Umayr precedent).
In your day
Modern parenting often skips the kunya tradition. Recover it. The child who is regularly addressed as 'Abu' or 'Umm' plus a name (real or playful) develops a sense of dignity that ordinary nicknames do not produce. The Sunnah is gentle, easy, and effective.
A reflection to carry
Giving children a kunya: the Prophet ﷺ addressed children with kunya (Abū X / Umm Y) as a sign of respect and adult-status. He called Anas's young brother 'Abū ʿUmayr' to address him about his sparrow. (Bukhārī 6129.)
Read the longer reflection
The Prophetic pattern: address children with respect, give them a sense of dignity, treat them as small adults rather than mere children. The kunya-discipline elevates the parent-child interaction structurally. Cure: when children are old enough to recognize names, give them a kunya (Abū/Umm followed by a name they like or their first child's name); use it especially in serious or affectionate contexts; alongside the regular name. The Companions practiced this widely: ʿUmar's son was Abū ʿAbdullah from young; ʿĀʾishah was Umm ʿAbdullah even though she had no children. The discipline structurally builds children's sense of identity and dignity within the Prophetic adab-framework.
Sources: Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim. The Qur'an and its translation are verified; the scholarship is retold faithfully in our own words and credited to its sources, never reproduced verbatim.
A verse, a healing, and a Sunnah, every morning.
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