The 365 · Sunnah · Day 199 · Social
The Prophetic Practice of ʿAfw
The hadith
مَا نَقَصَتْ صَدَقَةٌ مِنْ مَالٍ، وَمَا زَادَ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا بِعَفْوٍ إِلَّا عِزَّاً، وَمَا تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلَّا رَفَعَهُ اللَّه
The Prophet ﷺ said: 'Charity does not decrease wealth; Allah does not increase a slave through pardon except in honor (ʿizz); and no one humbles himself for Allah except that Allah raises him' (Muslim 2588). Three guarantees in one hadith: charity does not subtract; pardon does not weaken; humility does not lower. The opposite is true: pardon ELEVATES. And the Prophet ﷺ, in the conquest of Makkah, when he had every man who had persecuted him for thirteen years at his mercy, said: 'Go, you are free' (al-tulaqāʾ: those set free).
Svenska: Profeten ﷺ: 'Allah utvidgar inte en tjänare med förlåtelse utom genom ära; och ingen ödmjukar sig för Allah utan att Allah upphöjer honom.' (Muslim 2588)
Muslim 2588, Bukhari (conquest of Makkah narrations)
The story
At the conquest of Makkah, the Prophet ﷺ entered with such an army that resistance was impossible. The very people who had tried to kill him, slandered him, exiled him, tortured his Companions, killed his beloved uncle, stood waiting for the sword. He gathered them at the Kaʿbah. He asked: 'O Quraysh, what do you think I will do with you?' They said: 'A kind brother, the son of a kind brother.' He said: 'Idhabū, fa-antumu al-ṭulaqāʾ.' Go, you are free. I say to you what Yūsuf said to his brothers: 'lā tathrība ʿalaykum al-yawm' (no blame on you today, Yūsuf 12:92). Imagine the scene. Twenty years of accumulated wrongs. The man at the height of his power. And the choice: pardon. That moment became the foundational image of Islamic ethics. The Sunnah is not 'forgive when you have no other option.' The Sunnah is 'pardon when retaliation is in your hand.'
Why it's here
Because the Prophet ﷺ transformed the most natural human reflex (retaliation when wronged) into one of the most powerful spiritual practices (ʿafw, pardon). And he attached a paradoxical promise: Allah does not increase the pardoner in any way EXCEPT in ʿizz, honor. Look at the grammar: mā zadaʿa illa. Nothing is added EXCEPT this. The pardon does not weaken your standing; it elevates it. The world thinks the one who lets go has lost; the dīn says the one who lets go has risen. And the Prophet ﷺ modeled this at the conquest of Makkah when he had at his feet the very men who had driven him out, killed his uncle Ḥamzah, persecuted his Companions, tortured his Migrators. He said: idhabū, fa-antumu al-ṭulaqāʾ. Go, you are free. The Quraysh stood frozen. They had expected vengeance. He gave ʿafw. And that ʿafw conquered more hearts than the sword ever did.
Try it today
1) Identify one wrong you have been holding for years that you have the power to remember or release; release it this week with intention; 2) When wronged, train yourself to say internally: 'aʾfū ʿanka li-wajhi-llāh' (I pardon you for the sake of Allah); 3) Never pardon publicly to shame; pardon privately, sincerely, with the wronger or just before Allah; 4) When tempted to retaliate, recall the Prophet's ﷺ words at Makkah: idhabū, fa-antumu al-ṭulaqāʾ; 5) Make duʿā for those you have pardoned; this seals the pardon.
In your day
When you have the power to retaliate, pardon. The angry customer; the offending colleague; the family member who wronged you; the spouse who lashed out; the friend who broke trust. In each case, the human reflex is justice. The Sunnah is ʿafw. Not from weakness; from īmān. And the Prophet's ﷺ promise: Allah increases you in ʿizz. Not in money. Not in followers. In a quality that cannot be bought: honor. The respect in your own chest. The standing in Allah's eyes. The story your grandchildren will tell about how you handled wrongs.
A reflection to carry
Imagine the moment. The Prophet ﷺ enters Makkah with an army that could end every household. He gathers at the Kaʿbah the men who twenty years earlier had spat at him, banished him, tortured his Companions, killed Sumayyah, killed Yāsir, killed Ḥamzah. He asks: what do you think I will do? They answer in shame: a kind brother. He says: 'idhabū, fa-antumu al-ṭulaqāʾ.' Go, you are free. He quotes Yūsuf to his brothers: no blame on you today. And in that moment of unimaginable restraint, the man who could have founded a regime of vengeance founded instead a religion of mercy. The Quraysh, who had resisted Islam for twenty years, now entered in droves. Because ʿafw conquered them in a way the sword never could. Ya akhī, ya ukhtī, look at your own wounds. The relative who wronged you fifteen years ago. The friend who betrayed you. The colleague who lied. Each is a potential conquest of Makkah in miniature. The dīn invites you to do, in your small sphere, what the Prophet ﷺ did at the level of civilization: pardon when retaliation is in your hand. And the promise of the Prophet ﷺ: Allah will not increase you with this pardon except in ʿizz. Honor that the world cannot give. Standing that no court can deliver. Make this week the week of one pardon you have been holding too long.
Read the longer reflection
Yā Rabb, You let Your Beloved ﷺ write into history the most operationally consequential demonstration of ʿafw the world has ever seen. The conquest of Makkah. Twenty years of accumulated wrongs. The men who had killed his ﷺ uncle, exiled his ﷺ Companions, mocked his ﷺ message, dragged his ﷺ daughter through pain, plotted his ﷺ assassination, stood before him. Powerless. Awaiting the sword. And he ﷺ said: idhabū, fa-antumu al-ṭulaqāʾ. Go, you are free. Ya Allāh, every Muslim story of forgiveness flows from that moment. And every Muslim story of vengeance is a betrayal of it. Forgive me, ya Rabb, for the small Makkahs I have failed to conquer with ʿafw. The brother I have not forgiven from a decade ago. The cousin whose wedding I refused over an inheritance dispute. The friend whose betrayal I rehearsed in my mind for years. The colleague whose old slight I am still mentally collecting evidence against. Each is a Makkah in my hand, waiting for me to enter with the Prophet's ﷺ restraint. Open my hand, ya Allah. Place 'aʾfū ʿanka li-wajhi-llāh' on my tongue. Pardon them silently, in my private duʿā, by name. And ya Rabb, on the Day when I most need Your ʿafw, let me find that the pardons I gave in this dunyā stood as my witnesses before You. You promised: Allah does not increase a slave through pardon except in ʿizz. Increase me, ya Rabb. Make my standing in Your eyes higher because my hand let go of wounds the dunyā would have weaponized. Āmīn ya ʿAfuww, ya Karīm.
Sources: Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi. The Qur'an and its translation are verified; the scholarship is retold faithfully in our own words and credited to its sources, never reproduced verbatim.
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