باب كراهة المدح في الوجه لمن خيف عليه مفسدة من إعجاب ونحوه، وجوازه لمن أمن ذلك في حقه
This chapter warns against heaping praise on someone to their face, because flattery can swell a person with self-importance and quietly ruin them. The Arabic verb the Prophet (peace be upon him) chose, that you have killed or broken the neck of the one praised, shows the spiritual harm of excessive, undue praise.
Notice the balance the hadith teach. Praise is not banned outright, but it must stay honest and humble, said as I reckon him to be so, while leaving the true verdict to Allah, who alone knows hearts. Watch how the Companions guarded against flattery so fiercely that one of them threw dust at a flatterer. The thread here is sincerity and protecting both the praiser and the praised from pride.
Hadith 1788
Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari (May Allah be pleased with him) said:
وعن أبي موسى الأشعري رضي الله عنه قال: سمع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم رجلا يُثني على رجل ويُطريه في المدحة، فقال: "أهلكتم، أو قطعتم ظهر الرجل" ((متفق عليه)). (23) .
The Prophet (ﷺ) heard a person lauding another person or praising him too much. Thereupon he said, "You killed the man," or he said, "You ruined the man." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
In plain words
Hearing someone heap praise on another, the Prophet said he had killed or ruined the man. Excessive praise to a person's face can fill him with pride and quietly harm him.
Reference : Riyad as-Salihin 1788 In-book reference : Book 17, Hadith 278
Hadith 1789
Abu Bakrah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
وعن أبي بكر رضي الله عنه أن رجلا ذُكر عند النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فأثنى عليه رجل خيرًا، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : "ويحك! قطعت عنق صاحبك" يقوله مرارًا "وإن كان أحدكم مادحًا لا محالة، فليقل: أحسب كذا وكذا إن كان يرى أنه كذلك وحسيبه الله، ولا يزكي على الله أحدًا" ((متفق عليه)).
Mention of a man was made to the Prophet (ﷺ) and someone praised him whereupon he (ﷺ) said, "Woe be to you! You have broken the neck of your friend!" He repeated this several times and added, "If one of you has to praise his friend at all, he should say: 'I reckon him to be such and such and Allah knows him well', if you think him to be so-and-so, you will be accountable to Allah because no one can testify the purity of others against Allah." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
In plain words
The Prophet warned that praising someone too much breaks his neck, and taught that if you must praise, say you reckon him to be so while leaving the true verdict to Allah. Praise should stay honest and humble, since only Allah knows hearts.
Reference : Riyad as-Salihin 1789 In-book reference : Book 17, Hadith 279
Hadith 1790
Hammam bin Al- Harith (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
وعن همام بن الحارث، عن المقداد، رضي الله عنه أم رجلا جعل يمدح عثمان رضي الله عنه ، فعمد المقداد، فجثا على ركبتيه، فجعل يحثو في وجهه الحصباء، فقال له عثمان: ما شأنك؟ فقال: إن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: “إذا رأيتم المادحين، فاحثوا في وجوههم التراب" ((رواه مسلم)). فهذه الأحاديث في النهي، وجاء في الإباحة أحاديث كثيرة صحيحة. قال العلماء: وطريق الجمع بين الأحاديث أن يقال: إن كان الممدوح عنده كمال إيمان ويقين، ورياضة نفس، ومعرفة تامة بحيث لا يفتن، ولا يغتر بذلك، ولا تلعب به نفسه، فليس بحرام ولا مكروه، وإن خيف عليه شيء من هذه الأمور، كره مدحه في وجهه كراهة شديدة، وعلى هذا التفصيل تنزل الأحاديث المختلفة في ذلك. ومما جاء في الإباحة قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم لأبي بكر رضي الله عنه: “أرجو أن تكون منهم" أي من الذين يُدعون من جميع أبواب الجنة لدخولها، وفي الحديث الآخر: "لست منهم" أي: لست من الذين يُسبلون أُزرهم خيلاء. وقال صلى الله عليه وسلم لعمر رضي الله عنه: “ما رآك الشيطان سالكًا فجًا إلا سلك فجًا غير فجك” والأحاديث في الإباحة كثيرة، وقد ذكرت جملة من أطرافها في كتاب: "الأذكار".
A person began to praise 'Uthman (May Allah be pleased with him), and Al-Miqdad (May Allah be pleased with him) sat upon his knees and began to throw pebbles upon the flatterer's face. 'Uthman (May Allah be pleased with him) said: "What is the matter with you?" He said: "Verily, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, 'When you see those who shower undue praises upon others throw dust upon their faces."' [Muslim].
In plain words
When a man showered praise on Uthman, Al-Miqdad threw pebbles at his face, recalling the Prophet's instruction to throw dust at those who praise others excessively. It shows how seriously the Companions guarded against flattery.
Reference : Riyad as-Salihin 1790 In-book reference : Book 17, Hadith 280