The 365 · Verses · Day 84 · Family
The Quran does not allow 'uff.' The Prophet ﷺ said āmīn three times against the failed son. Read the verse, do the work.
Qur'an Q 17:23-24
۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
“Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully and lower your wing in humility towards them in kindness and say, 'Lord, have mercy on them, just as they cared for me when I was little.' (Abdel Haleem)”
Svenska: Er Herre har befallt, att ni inte skall dyrka någon annan än Honom. Och [Han har anbefallt er] att visa godhet mot [era] föräldrar. (Knut Bernström)
The story
Ibn Kathir reads this passage as the Quran's foundational pairing of tawḥīd with birr al-wālidayn. He catalogs hadith on the gravity: 'He is doomed who grows up while one or both of his parents are alive, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise' (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2551, with the Prophet ﷺ saying āmīn three times to Jibrīl's invocations, one of which named the man who fails his parents). Another hadith: a man came asking permission to go to jihad; the Prophet ﷺ asked: 'Do you have a mother?' When he said yes, the Prophet ﷺ said: 'Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet' (Sunan an-Nasāʾī 3104, classed ḥasan).
In the language
أُفٍّ (uff) is the Arabic equivalent of any sound of impatience, even something as small as 'tsk' or a sigh. The Quran forbids even this minimum expression of irritation. The construction is graduated: do not say 'uff,' do not reprimand (lā tanharhumā), do not raise the hand or voice. The verse closes its instruction at 'speak to them in honorable terms' (qawlan karīmā), and then takes a further step: lower the wing of humility (jināh adh-dhull min ar-raḥmah). The metaphor of the wing is from how a bird folds itself toward its young in tenderness; the verse asks the same posture from the child toward the aged parent.
Why this verse
Q 17:23-24 is the foundational pairing of tawḥīd with birr al-wālidayn (filial righteousness). The verb qaḍā in this context means 'commanded.' Worship Allah alone, and be excellent to your parents. The two are joined in the same sentence so often in the Quran that the classical scholars treated them as inseparable obligations.
Bring it into today
Audit your behavior with your parents this week. Have you said 'uff' or its modern equivalents (eye rolls, dismissive sighs, impatient tones)? Each is structurally what the verse forbids. Reverse. Speak to them with qawl karīm (honorable speech). Sit lower when they enter. Recite the duʿāʾ daily, whether they are with you or have passed.
A reflection to carry
There is a structural seriousness in the Quran's pairing of tawḥīd with birr al-wālidayn. Allah does not separate them; the same sentence that names His exclusive worship names the parents' right. The implication: how you treat your parents is structurally connected to how you worship your Lord. Failing in the second is named as failing in the first. The Prophet's ﷺ three āmīns to Jibrīl's invocation against the failed son is among the most severe statements in the Sīrah. Read it. Do the work.
Read the longer reflection
The Quran's verb-choice in 17:24 is striking: wa-akhfiḍ lahumā jināḥ adh-dhull min ar-raḥmah. 'Lower for them the wing of humility, out of mercy.' The classical commentators (ʿAtāʾ, others, in Ibn Kathir's narration) explain: be physically humble in your bearing toward them, not just verbally. The body's posture matters: how you sit when they enter the room, how you stand when they speak, how you serve their needs. The duʿāʾ that closes verse 24 ('Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was young') is the Quran's gift: a four-word prayer that fulfills part of the right when full physical service is no longer possible (after their death). Recite it daily.
Sources: Ibn Kathir. The Qur'an and its translation are verified; the scholarship is retold faithfully in our own words and credited to its sources, never reproduced verbatim.
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